never done

Okay, so I made my decision about C. He can participate in the workshops cause there isn't an alternative (read a different community) that he can be a part of. And for some reason he wants to be a part of this one. So, he may. He may not be a part of my personal life. He is far too toxic. Being around him and socialising with him made me physically ill. But, a series of workshops, well, that's a horse of a different colour. Plus it gives me the opportunity to see how well my boundaries hold up.

And then there is the issue of my resentments towards the other C. Let me see if I can work this out.
1. I am powerless over C. and how she behaves. She made my life unmanageable and I stepped away from her.
2. The Goddess can restore me to sanity and help me hold my boundaries.
3. I will turn my will and my life over to the care of the Goddess. That way I won't have to kill her and go to jail. Plus, it just looks bad.
4. Searching and fearless moral inventory.
a. I tried to *help* C. and became angry when she did not do as I thought she
she should.
b. I was angry because my help was not appreciated. Nor was it asked for.
c. I took it as a personal affront when she did not try to seek effective
help for herself...even though I set it up so that it would be easy.
5. Okay, I was wrong. I am NOT in charge of anyone else's life.
6. Ready
7. Goddess, I'm quite ready to have the controlling, let me be your guide to life shortcommings removed.
8. the list:
Me
C.
9. Okay, this one can't be taken care of here.


This was helpful but it still doesn't really help me to decide what I am going to do if C.f. wants to come to the workshops too. Whereas C.m. was an unhealthy alliance I bare no ill will towards him. C.f is a little more tricky. She lived in my house and messed with the energy, broke Christmas ornaments in the attic, was pretty much hell to live with because she thought the demands being made of her were too much for her. My controlling of the demands was wrong. The demands for her to be responsible for herself and her actions was only what is expected of each of us.

Oh, and there was the nasty little letter which I assume was meant to curse and scare me which ended *So Mote It Be* when she left. I laughed. How dare she practise magic on me! But, the intention and the ill will written out like that was not very nice. Should have left her in the abusive situation she was in and leave her to her own devices.

There well may be more to this one. Oh, yes, not done with this one yet.